God Could I Talk To Mom For a Minute?

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The trials and tribulations our family have went through this past year has, at times, put faith to test.  But because of God’s grace and love we have grown stronger in our faith and continue to find the good in all things.  One of the things that has helped me deal with the loss of my father in-law (dad) and mother in-law (mom), is my daily conversations with God and writing letters to them.  I also talk to dad as I drive to work in the morning, it’s an hour drive and I tend to talk a lot but I have found that dad is a great listener.  His favorite line was “just be quiet and listen”.

I pray that if you are going through a loss and you feel as if you are alone and with nobody to talk to, remember that God is always listening.  Sit and talk to Him, let it all out.  He will listen, He does understand, and He will comfort you and love you.  I urge you to write a letter to the person you lost.  Just like a prayer, the words do not have to be perfect.  Write from the heart, write about the day, about memories, your sadness, write about anything that is in your heart that you feel you need to get out.  I do this almost daily. Sometimes the letters are long, sometimes the only thing I write is,  I Love You!  If you’re unsure about the letter, here is mine for today.

Hi mom,

It’s been awhile since I sat down and put pen to paper but everyday I think of you and during the quiet times in my day, I talk to you.  It’s not really quiet right now, a little loud, but a good loud.  Haley is giving your great grandson a bath and they sound like they are having way to much fun with the water.  Your daughter is asleep in the bedroom, (just like dad, supposedly watching TV) and I thought I would write to you, let you know how we are doing, and that you are forever in our thoughts and in our hearts.

Today was one of those fall Sundays where the sky was cloudy with a bit of sun here and there, a chill to the breeze, and Detroit Lion football on TV.  Your beautiful daughter put a turkey in the oven today and the smells, the weather, the familiarity of the day hit her hard.  It filled her with memories of being at your house on Sundays after church and watching the game.  Dad and I stretched out on the floor, you on the couch crocheting and Carol in the recliner.  And the tears came, and they came hard.  She misses you so much.  Sometimes she catches herself in the evening when she heads out to the balcony, “I’m going out to call….” and her words and thoughts trail off.  Today was one of those days, a day where memories filled our hearts and we thanked God for giving you to us.

Well your great grandson is out of the bath and wants to wrestle a bit before bedtime and I don’t want to disappoint, so I’ll end this for now.  Tell dad that I miss him something awful and that I will talk to him tomorrow during my ride to work as I always do.  I love you mom and everyday it gets a little better.

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.”

John 14:1-4

Lord, thank you for being my rock and my strength. I know you have a plan for each of us. But right now I’m hurting, and that hurt runs deep. Lord, I know that you are a comfort for me, and I pray that you continue to be by my side through this time. Everyone keeps saying that time will ease what I’m going through, but at times I feel angry, hurt and alone. I don’t know if time will help me, but I know you will. I cannot imagine going through this without you holding me up.

Sometimes, Lord, it’s just hard to look at tomorrow, and I just don’t know how I will get through the day without mom and dad in my life. Lord, I just ask for you to be here for me. I pray for you to give me strength to take another step. I need you to help me cope with the loneliness and to move forward in my life. Please, Lord, help make each day a little easier. Continue to provide me with hope for tomorrow. I know I will never stop missing mom and dad, but I hope that you are holding them closely. Thank you, Lord for always being here for me. In Your Name I pray, Amen.

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